sodium stannate

made up my mind.

2012-02-19T01:54:00.000-08:00

you are having a great life without me, carry on.

i would never interfere.

and finally home...

2012-02-16T21:13:00.000-08:00

hello everyone.

i am finally home after two silly weeks. it has been among the toughest week, only ALLAH knows.

thank you ALLAH for keeping me strong.

i cant wait to get myself out of that place.hmm.

i am just expecting better weeks to come.

i am trying to get myself doing something exciting. registered myself into a few competitions, we'll see how it goes aite.

i am fine alone. i have been completely fine alone. i have become stronger. i spill my emotions less, only to sn and mum nowadays. i crap and be loud most of the times just to make me happy.

i am selfish. but who cares,

its just me, myself and i nowadays

. my senior was right, she had always told me not to depend to people...she said that no matter who, everybody changes and when you are too depending to each other when that happens it'll hurt so much. very true.

i have gone true this since 8 until 17. never thought that i am gonna go through this again at 19,

and gosh it gets harder each time.

but never mind loneliness gives me peace,

i believe i have grown up. i believe i have figured out myself.

i fit the best with me and no one else.

2012-02-13T08:49:00.000-08:00

i wonder when it comes to me, do i even cross your mind?

i am just invisible to you and your world. feels like a stranger nowadays.

its true,

everybody changes at some point of life, we just move on don't we.

p/s : dearest you, i just hope you would never change...i am not strong to loose anymore:(

:(

2012-02-09T19:30:00.001-08:00

life long partners :)

2012-02-03T22:13:00.000-08:00

" you don't worry okay, no matter how far we are right now...or how far we are gonna be, you'll always have me for you. distance is just numbers.

we are life long partners kan? "

that is the most sweetest thing you said to me.thank you :)

yes.yes life long partners.
aminnn..insyALLAH
<3

this is not what i want :(

2012-02-02T07:29:00.000-08:00

sometimes i just wish you could see how hurt i am.

sometimes i wish you could see how lonely i am...its unfair for you to expect me to figure it out all by myself...i just keep wondering what when wrong where all the time...keep blaming myself for the reason i do not know...

i keep wondering does my presence even matter nowadays...

* a lonely walk in the middle of crowd could bring back thousands memories. gosh i am just so jealous with them all*

be strong teacher :(

2012-01-26T19:35:00.000-08:00

" How do we convey just how we feel when we lose someone we love? How do we explain the deep, lonely pain, the emptyness left in us? No words can express the hurt and anguish . The hopes and the dreams we had just remain like an unfinished book of our lives. as an incomplete chapter remains unfinished with nothing more to write. But we can know Allah's comfort and know there is hope with a new chapter to begin . We can hold on to Allah for he loves us so much and fills the void within. As we close one chapter, another can begin. Though the one we love has gone, through Allah's strength in us and hope in our hearts, we find courage to carry on....Alhamdulillah...TQ Allah"

:(

the words up here taken from a dedicated strong young lady, who had just lost her husband. she lost her companion who she had known for about 20 years. the one she had loved with her whole heart, shared all her dreams and the one that she want to spent her whole life with. for only ALLAH knows what pain has she gone through. owh Allah please give this teacher of mine strength and courage to go through the rest of her live and to bring up her two small lil kids.

i could never imagine losing someone i love. i could never imagine having this much strength that my teacher have.

owh Allah, please protect my family, friends and everyone i love.

al-fatihah to arwah

:(

thank you for letting me to see the world with your eyes :)

2012-01-26T04:55:00.000-08:00

owh hello.

today has been amazingly awesome.

~~minus the part i did not study~~.

owh anyway lets not talk about that and lets panic tomorrow! -.-

hee.back to the main topic,

i did not know that penang had such interesting places.

thank you my dear personal tour guide.

it was great to see the whole penang from on top of the hill. nope not penang hill.huhu just some hills located at balik pulau. the winding roads made me dizzy but the amazing sight had took all my dizziness away.

Subhannallah. sebaik-baik pencipta ialah ALLAH.

it was an amazing sight. seriously.

and you were right i love the sight, the wind and everything else.. you just know me too well.

the way you appreciate nature and HIS creations really makes me adore you. you are just very different from the others and i like it

thank you for making me smile the whole day today

you are amazing just the way you are

study plis :(

2012-01-21T17:22:00.000-08:00

waa.

it is so challenging to study at home. home is just full of temptations....and now i understand why we are all not allowed to go home during study week.

danggg.

ya Allah help me. guide my heart to be at peace remembering you.

guide me to study

and the fireworks made everything perfect :)

2012-01-14T06:36:00.000-08:00

to the dearest person,

thank you for always being there for me...from the crappiest moment to the happiest moments of my life. thank you for being there at the toughest moment of my life, for being there when people i love changed, when everybody left me alone. you were always there.

thank you for making me feel worth it. for bringing the spirit out of me. supporting me and having so much confident on me, for never letting me go when everyone i thought would be with me left. for knowing every single emotion of me without me saying it,

thank you.

Alhamdullillah.thank you ALLAH for giving me such love.

not all heart gets lucky as i am.

i always picture my self safe and sound under your protection and HIS blessing.

may you and me are always protected from wrong doings and sins.

may you and me are meant for each other.

may our love is blessed by Allah

and

may us last till jannah.

Amin.

hi penang :)

2012-01-12T05:03:00.000-08:00

hello everyone.

it has been really long since i last updated, last year kot :O haha

sorry.it has been really busy week and i am finally home.

it feels good to finally smell the sea.huhu

oh well nothing much has been happening, i just have millions of homework to be completed and UPS is really just around the corner, and i need to work on math :(

my mathematics skill is getting worse, cikgu aniza i need you :(

insyALLAH i will try my best for ups.

it feels really good to be home after 3 weeks, i missed all of them very much...

and

alhamdulillah, a band 5 for MUET. Thank You Allah for giving me chances and never gave up on me.

ALHAMDULILLAH

:(

2011-12-29T22:14:00.000-08:00

i feel really very lonely.

i never thought that these two days spent here would feel so long :(

i miss you ma:(

presence are rarely appreciated, but absence is always missed :(

2011-12-26T17:43:00.000-08:00

hello.i am in changlun currently.feeling very sad :(

hurmm.my sister went back to Adelaide yesterday and i was the only one who was not there at the airport to send her off :(

:for the first time ever. yikes i do feel bad, really bad.hurmm.but there is nothing i can do....some sacrifices are just bound to be made.insyALLAH we'll get something good in return.

to my dearest sister, take a good care of yourself, i am going to miss you a lot :(

thank you for being such an amazing person, it has been a super fun one month with you.

though the limited time we spent because i am in changlun, we still had a lot.a lot fun kan?

hee.i am going to miss those shopping sessions we have, the gossiping sessions, movie marathons. and of course delicious foods you cook.the pizza, the waffle, the pancakes, cupcakes...waa..i guess i juts have to wait to eat all those delicious things again kan?

anyhow.have fun working there.

take care.love you lots...

sorry for being annoying sometimes :P

and dear mama i miss you a lot jugak...

i know you are alone at home.be strong okay...i'll be home next weekend.love you mama

a new spirit :)

2011-12-23T04:12:00.000-08:00

hello everybody.

sorry for not updating for a long time.been busy with a lot of works..

waa, i am home for the weekend. its always good to be home.

life so far is fine, alhamdullilah

so far sem two have been a lot better than sem one. i guess i have been adapting well.

omg.someone has just grown up?

haha,well the second semester is better maybe because i have a rutine already and maybe because i am used to the environment.used to the hecticness and busyness that i dont feel the stress that much anymore?

.it has been really busy so far.homeworks and assignment and not to forgot i am still that lazy! heee

teruk kan? *sigh* need to improvise myself.

btw,

i had a great time at malam kita berhibur held by Majlis Tindakan Dakwah of KMK. felt the calmness and happiness there, though they could improvise it was a great effort to bring up awareness among us all.

so a big hand to mtd.hope there is a lot more program to come

:)

2011-12-09T20:58:00.000-08:00

thank you :)

lots of love from me

a four flat.alhamdullillah :)

2011-12-09T01:58:00.000-08:00

thank you ALLAH.

alhamdullillah.

no words can ever describe what i felt when i saw the results.just thank you ALLAH

rather than my effort. it was ALLAH's gift

thank you for giving me another chance ya ALLAH.

insyALLAH i'll be a better student.

mama, abah, kakak, adik and sn.

thank you for every single thing.thank you being confident in me.and loving me unconditionally.

this is a small gift from me for you guys

:')

happy second birthday sn.na :)

2011-11-26T22:31:00.000-08:00

how many seconds,minutes, hours, days, weeks and month are there in two years?

i just got loss counting in the beautiful moments :)

happy second birthday to us.

thank you for every lil things you did for me. you are the best.

nothing there's for me to complain.
thanks for being my superhero all this while.

keep growing old with me kay

i love you a lot.a lot

two years and still counting

:')

salam maal hijrah :)

2011-11-26T22:26:00.000-08:00

SALAM MAAL HIJRAH

:')

MAY THIS YEAR IS FULL OF BLESSING FROM ALLAH S.W.T AND BETTER FROM THE PREVIOUS YEARS, INSYALLAH

of thankfullness...how often we say thank you ALLAH?

2011-11-25T23:13:00.000-08:00

" selalunya semua yang kita nak kita dapat. kadang-kadang kita dapat lebih dari apa yang kita perlukan, berapa kali kita cakap alhamdulllilah? tapi bila Allah menguji kita sedikit, kita terlalu mudah mengeluh kan? terlampau sedih sampai kadang-kadang menyalahkan takdir. bukankah ini fitrah manusia? kadang-kdang kita lupa ujian Allah kepada kita terlalu sikit berbanding semua nikmat yang kita ada"

reading these words yang hit me right on the face :(

true. so very true :(

i have always had everything i wanted and needed.not bragging but saying alhamdullillah Allah. thank YOU.

i have the most loving parents, the nicest sisters in the world, the best lil brothers who only came by half the way but they mean a lot, a have a home to stay, a comfortable bed to rest, a eat good food everyday and i dont even cook for it, i had a chance to get education, my schools both primary and secondary is very near my house and i dont have to cross any rivers or bridges to get there its really very near, i have best friends who are always there for me, i have been living in freedom for about 18 years, never been terrorised, ALLAH gave me good results all the way since primary school up to spm. at the age of seventeen i met someone awesome who wants to share his whole life with me, i see the sky everyday. i was born normal, i have the sea and the trees all around me, i have the freedom to be a muslim and, i don't get shot just because i am a muslim, i live in a peaceful country,
the biggest and most valuable pleasure was that i was born a muslim, still a muslim and i did not have to search anymore for the truth.

what is there more to complain? i can go on listing down how lucky i am.

and how often do we all have thought about all the good things we have so easily? how often we thank ALLAH for all the pleasures HE gave us?

despite all the good things ALLAH gave me, i was to busy complaining over the one and only wish that Allah did not gave me. the JPA wish. i was too busy being sad dwelling over the fact that i have to go to matriculation without my choice. i was busy being sad until i forgot that what ALLAH has gave me is the best. i forgot that regardless of whatever my plans were, ALLAH'S plan is the best for me.

i forgot at the moment KMK is the best place that i have to be in.

how stupid i am :(
i wasted 6 months, i screwed up a lot in my studies and most probably screwed up my exam just because i was blind:(

i am sorry ya ALLAH.
i am writing this with tears. tears of repentance. tears for being ungrateful and stupid. tears for forgetting ALLAH has the greatest right on me :(

i am sorry ya ALLAH :(

i missed out to see all the good things i gained in kmk.

wanna know why i am miserable most of the times there? just because i lack the skill of sincerity.

i was not sincere being there. was not sincere with ALLAH's small little test on me.
i lack the skill of being redha with Allah's decision.

i never realised how much good changes kmk had gave me.

the most important one is i am closer to my family, closer than ever, i appreciate each of them more.

i learn to be independent. to manage time better, although still learning on it.

i became less dependant to others. i feel okay alone. i feel a little bit 18 nowadays.

i feel more responsibility. i get to know myself better there. i learn to never procrastinate no matter how small a thing it is. i learn to use money wisely. i appreciate nature more.
i get to see just a small reality of the real world there.

i feel closer to ALLAH. more dependant to HIM.to ask help from ALLAH. and it is a good things.

see how much i gained for just six months being there. and all these i only realised it today. how sad isnt it? i screwed up my future just because i couldnt see. because i was not opening my eyes :(

i am sorry ALLAH

so maybe if we all open our eyes, and ask your heart, maybe we would feel the as the luckiest person on earth.

maybe we'll realise that all the small test ALLAH give us, it it the best for us. and it is nothing compared to all the good things we have every single day.

and maybe we will stop feeling sad over the test ALLAH had given us. just know that no matter how miserable it seems to be, it is what ALLAH had gave for us, and it is the best.

" maka nikmat tuhan yang mana kamu dustakan?" -Ar-Rahman-

ampunkan la dosaku ya ALLAH. sesungguhnya engakaulah pengampun dosa-dosa besar. berikanlah kefahaman yang lebih kepadaku YA ALLAH. bukakanlah hatiku untuk-MU

:'(

sorry for such a long post

back in changlun :(

2011-11-20T18:49:00.000-08:00

hello people!

sorry i have not been updating my blog, its just that my holiday was super fun and being back in changlun just does not seem right at the moment.

hmm.new classes, new people, new lecturers...yikes it feels like the first day all over again.

everybody keeps saying its gonna be fine later on when i am used to the people.~~.i still dont think so :(~~

anyways i'll be back to penang for the weekend.hee..yay! :)

till then pray for me here people.

imissyouutoo :'(

2011-11-13T02:10:00.000-08:00

and while reading the old text messages just now, i realised how much miss my best friend.

one of the greatest people that i know in my life, that would do anything to see the smile on my face. that would sacrifice her own happiness so see me happy.

and that strong and awesome girl is my bestfriend.thank you ALLAH for giving me a friend like her, not everybody is as luck as i am.

to be a great person is one thing, but to be a great friend is another but she is both

nur fatimah aliyah, i miss you truly and deeply

i miss having someone listening to me nag. i miss our moments.

trust me those days with you was the best days of my life and i would do anything to get it back :(

i love you loads, sorry if i have not been there lately. sorry if i got carried away with my emotions.

no matter what, i love you always maya busukk :)

a week to go ^_^

2011-11-12T21:04:00.000-08:00

i just realized that my previous post is title-less. haha.i wonder why.

. neways just finished deleting my text messages in my phone inbox that had reached 3000++, now leaving only 200 in my inbox..it took me three days kot.

i love keeping text messages, its just like blog posts when you read them back it carries valuable and precious memories.

and while reading the text messages i just realized how sweet you were, and still are :)

through out these two years it is amazing how you didn't change a bit and were always there for me. through every ups and downs.sorrow and joy. crowd and lonelines,

no matter what you were always there.

thank you for being so sweet and grown up to be even sweeter these days. huhu

you never liked me being sad, you always have given me motivation and support and hope, knowing how fragile i have grown up to be.

its impossible to imagine life without you. without my motivator.

who had always reminded me to be close to HIM. who had always said "everything is gonna be fine" at the right timing. who had sacrificed futsal nights, hang out with friends just to be with me.

who feels extremely happy when i am happy. who would do anything to keep me smiling.

and yes your text messages had always sounded so happy no matter how big your problem was. you never complained and always said " i am okay. ALLAH is there"

the most patient and optimistic person i know.

you thought me a lot. you thought me to be stronger, just like you.

your text are not just messages for me. each of them means a lot so maybe that is the reason i did not delete them. most of it gives me motivation when i read them back and makes me smile.

on sad days, i read our text messages and it makes my day.

thank you for loving me. thank you for never losing your temper.

and yes i am very lucky to have you with me.

thank you ALLAH.

:')

2011-11-11T19:04:00.000-08:00

good morning rainy penang.

it has been an awesome morning to wake up to.

just had roti canai and teh tarik for breakfast and going shopping with mama later on.

huhu.awesome holiday it has been. and the thought of this holiday ending soon is sad.

can i please not go there anymore?

heee...

tomorrow my second sis is coming back from aussie.hee..miss her so much and cant wait to see her.

it has been one long year without her,and i only have four days to catch up with her. hehe..busy four days its gonna be.

and going to watch breaking dawn tomorrow and going to the sea

i am having a wonderful holiday. it makes me feel energized and happy.

lets hope this feeling last!

have a nice day people!

thank youuu :)

2011-11-10T20:50:00.000-08:00

dear you,

the simple comments you drop by here is very sweet.

the fact that you actually read what i crap here is even sweeter.

and of course i am okay, i have you with me.

thank you for everything love

hmm..

2011-11-08T00:17:00.000-08:00

maybe it was my fault.maybe i changed...

maybe i did not know you well enough...maybe i was too busy handling my emotions, my self conflicts and i did not have time for yours.maybe i was being self fish.and self absorbed.

maybe i was not good enough.cool enough to be with so i thought you found someone better.much better than me. less boring and way cool.

so i just let it be.i was never trying to get you back because i thought you were having fun without me. you looked happy.and it was really long since you were that happy,so it was fine with me. i thought it would be okay for me to stand behind and support you from my heart though i felt lonely.really lonely.

so yes maybe my biggest mistake was letting you go. for not fighting for you

but...
regardless of whatever miserable thing i was being to you.regardless of how much i hurt you without me knowing...

sacrificing you or what we had shared had never crossed my mind.

and would never.

you and me was something ideal. we were awesome the way we were.

the things we had, are the things i would do anything for it to last.

i never did go anywhere. and never wanted anything to change between us.

i am sorry for everything :'(

:)

2011-11-06T21:06:00.000-08:00

these past few days had reminded me of a lot of things.

sweet things

.among the best days of my life.

and

each day i am more thankful for that day

never regret it for once

btw....

we are almost two

:')

salam aidiladha :)

2011-11-06T04:42:00.000-08:00

" berapa ramai yang sanggup berkorban apa sahaja untuk mendapatkan harta, pangkat, berkorban untuk pasangan hidup....berkorban apa sahaja untuk dunia yang sementara...tapi berapa ramai yang berlumba-lumba berkorban untuk agama? untuk akhirat yang kekal selamanya?"~

one of the words of imam besar masjid negeri during khutbah aidiladha that struck into me.

its true. very true.

how many sacrifices that we all make per day for ALLAH?

we are all to busy ensuring a good life here...busy getting the big house, the cool things and many more stuffs to ensure a happy life here. and sometimes we just forget our life here is impermanent.

there is somewhere else that we belong forever, and sometimes to be in heaven requires sacrifices.

sacrifices from bad routines that bring us away for ALLAH, sacrifices that comes from deep from the heart

its okay if we dont have everything now temporarily.just make sure that we are on the right path, so that we have everything there permanently.

there are something more in life than fortunes, gadgets, love and silly emotions.

something more that would bring us closer to the creator.

for only him gives us happiness, tranquilises and countless blessing.

salam aidiladha to all.

take a moment to think.to reflex ourselves.to get back closer to ALLAH.

may all the sacrifices we make are

specially dedicated to ALLAH.

finnally...

2011-11-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

i am home finnally.

it feels really good to be here..

these few days were so hard... and i am just glad it is over

so many things that i had to struggle and handle...

and for the first time ever...i had to do it by myself.

exam sucks. really sucks.

many things had changed in changlun. and maybe i am never gonna learn to adapt there?

and it is really true that nothing is forever kan?

i just hope ALLAH don't give up on me, or leave me alone.

HE was the only one that i had with to clung on to these past days.
to tell all my sorrows and pain.

HE was the only one that had made me feel better.

THANK YOU ALLAH.

i am just glad i am home

happy birthday dear mother :')

2011-10-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

this post is dedicated specially to,

the person that i love the most. and the person who loves me the most.

the person who never gets bored of my stubborness. who understand every bits of me. who understood my words long before i started to speak.

who dedicate her every day to make sure we all get the best.

who never forgets me in her every prayers.who has always made my life easier in every way she could.

the one i adore the most. the one that could never hurt me. the one that had sacrified everything for my happiness.

the one that prepares delicious meals for me all the time.

that takes care of me like i am a baby girl even though i am 18.

the one that is truly happy when i am happy.

the one who hold on my hand and helps me stand up i fall.

the one who fix everything for me.

the one and only person who brought me to this world, the one and only

MY DEAREST MOTHER

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA.

I LOVE YOU A LOT. MORE THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE.

i pray that all the happiness in this world is your. may you have a long and blessed life.

far from any sadness and any diseases, and may HE answer all your prayers.

AMIN.

i miss you a lot ma, this is your first birthday without me at home kan?

:( waa

see you in two weeks time aite?

love you a lot.

thank you for everything.

al-fatihah :'(

2011-10-19T08:29:00.001-07:00

innalillah.

daripada-NYA kita datang dan kepada-NYA kita kembali :(

i cried when i heard about your lost :(\

i am sorry to hear that teacher. a year ago when you told us, i couldnt believe

and still dont believe now :(

i hope you stay strong.

ALLAH never test us beyond our limit

love you a lot teacher :(

you are never alone, just reach in your heart and ALLAH is always there :)

2011-10-14T01:30:00.000-07:00

hanya pada-MU ketengan ku.

thank you ya ALLAH for each breath i take, for countless blessings i have and for making me realize that YOU are the only one that makes my heart calm, is YOU that makes me feel better and being close to YOU is an amazing feeling.

ya ALLAH please make me always close with you, under YOUR guidance and protection.

amin~

yesterday there i went for solat sunat hajat, solat sunat taubat and bacaan yasin held by the MTD for all muslim students,

to be honest it made me feel better in thousand of ways. i feel calmer.
it felt really close to ALLAH being there in that mosque.

there was a sensation, a nice and warm feeling.

i am sorry if have been far from YOU ya ALLAH. sorry if i have being neglecting my responsibilities to you.

thank YOU for never giving up on me.

............................

2011-10-09T03:25:00.000-07:00

and it has been such an awesome day that i cant wait for it to end.

,migrain and heartache and the disappointment

thank you very much

and when i was about to fall..

2011-09-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

it took me a lot to finally accept things whole hearted.

for so long i have been here, i feel fragile and the longest i can last being here alone is only two weeks,

i know i have bad coping skills.i know how pampered i am.

it took me a lot to understand that even though i am far from my family i would always be mummy's little girl, daddy's pride, sisters best friend and brothers craziest sister ever.

the distance had showed me how dear all of them is even though how many miles we are,

the distance had make me closer to them.

i am just afraid that i would not perform here, they have been so kind and i cant break their heart.

i know how sad my dad was seeing his third daughter disappointed for not getting a scholarship just like my sisters even though i scored straight A's. but he never gave up. he gave me strength and confidence. so did my mother and sisters and sn.

so the last thing i want is to see them disappointed when i don't get 4 flat.

i just hope that i would get back on track. and i don't want to fall now :(

thank you for growing up with me :)

2011-09-29T01:47:00.000-07:00

1 year 10 month.

it feels like we together have been forever.

thank you for all the good things. thank you for being my motivator even though i am far from you.

for holding me every time i am about to fall. for the endless words you say to make sure i am okay. and for the small and sweet sacrifices that you make just to see me smile.

for always have been there. through my ups and downs.

for willing to say sorry even though its not your fault.

for always talking about our future.

thank you for everything baby.

i love you more than words can say.and i miss you a lot.lot...

:(

2011-09-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

lets just say that i miss home so much already although it only has been 5 days :(

lets just say that i miss sn so much, that i feel like running to penang now:(

lets just say that my study is not progressing,and i feel like a mess :(

i need a vacation :'(

let's get back on track!

2011-09-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

hello!

i have just been back to kmk after three days of holidays at my sweetest home.

three fun filled and love filled days.
i enjoyed every single moment of being there.

i went to cousins weddings and it was awesome!
nasi minyak is going to be missed.hee

and of course mama, abah, adik, kakak, cousins and my dearest sn, you guys are already missed alot :(

thank you all of you for making that 3 days an awesome one. i did have a lot fun.

*sigh* time just have to pass so fast whenever i am at home.

and now i am back in KMK, trying to juggle to get back on track...and to hang on for 10 more days before i go home again.hehe..am i not spoiled brat?

waa...i seriously need to sort things and come up with a plan as soon as possible or else my finals is gonna be a major disaster.

oh ALLAH please guide me through. Please make this journey a smooth one.

amin~

p/s: yes, i do miss you alot after spending extra time together.heee.thank you for that day...and also everyday! ily a lot <3

results :(

2011-09-09T19:48:00.000-07:00

last week i got my mid sem exam results, to be honest i was expecting more, but nevermind.

alhamdullillah i am satisfied with my exam results. there are still a lot more to improve and i am sure this is a sign showing that i have to work harder for the coming exam. and it has to start now..hurmm...

"ya ALLAH, tetapkan hatiku di jalanMU. bimbinglah hamba-MU ini ke arah kebenaran.

YA ALLAH, janganlah biar aku terpesong."

:)

2011-09-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

and you,

happy second raya together. may theres many more to come, insyALLAH.

i loved the matching outfit that we wore during raya, hehe

.thank you for taking the trouble to walk here and there for a really long time just to find the exact same colour baju with me and for willing to wear a purple-ish pink baju just for me.

these small sweet things that you do for me, i like the most :)

its amazing how fast time flies when we are happy kan.

thank you for everything.thank you for being the best

there's nothing more that i could ask for.

and

get well soon.aite?

ilsvm

eid 2011 :')

2011-09-08T21:53:00.000-07:00

eid, 2011

one of the best eid that i have ever had within these few years.

on the night of eid itself it was really fun working with my mum, dad, adik and kakak.
baking, cooking and cleaning.its exciting i tell you! and not to forget the malam raya shopping.its a must. hee :')

and

it was an amazing feeling to finally gather around with all brothers and sisters, aunties and uncles, and also nephews and nieces. it has been a long time that i haven't seen all of them. and it took me to meet them to realize how much i really miss them all.

i don't have paternal and maternal grandparents anymore, but that does not split us all apart,it makes us closer and alhamdullillah for that :)

that comfort feeling that your family members gives, nobody else give them to you.

i am so used of having so many people around me every time there is an function.

.i have a very big family,

so yes i do love the chaos. the gossiping session we have, the photo shoots we have (too lazy to upload em), the heart to heart talks we have until 2 am.

its fun and cool.

maybe after being away from them for a while, i learned to appreciate them more because i think this is the most meaningful eid i have ever had. it was a happy 4 days of eid with all of them

so dearest cousins sisters and brothers, nieces and nephews and aunties and uncles, i love you all

thank you for always being there.

miss you all already.

back to square one :(

2011-09-04T20:12:00.000-07:00

and who thought two weeks of holidays can change a lot of things? :(

yikes.i hate feeling this way. its like the routines that i have been creating for the past three month had just ruptured. the comfort that i was trying to build slowly here has all disappeared.

i feel like my first day, my first week and first month.

lazy, tired and miserable.

and of course i miss home and family to the max.

my finals is just two months away and with this feeling i would never excel.

oh ALLAH please help me

tetapkanlah hatiku kepada-MU. Ya Allah KAU berilah kemudahan kepada hamba-MU ini dalam menempuhi cabaran

salam aidilfitri :')

2011-08-30T03:12:00.000-07:00

salam aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin.

takabarallahu minna wa minkum, kullu am wa antum bi khair

have a blessed eid people. may this syawal bring us closer to him, insyALLAH :)

home sweetest home :)

2011-08-19T22:08:00.000-07:00

happy 10 last days of ramadhan peoples.

in these 10 last days Allah has promised a huge amount of reward for those for seek them.

so let us all seek forgiveness and make some extra effort to gain rewards from ALLAH.

this wonderful month is only once a year, and its not all about raya, let us make use of this precious month to be a better person. and lets not make all the good things we do this month just stop here, lets make it a life time practice,insyALLAH.

have a bright day people.

i am loving the rain in penang.and also...everything else at home

you are the only one :)

2011-08-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

cause you are the only that makes my heart skips a beat every time i look at you.

you are the only one that makes me melt every time you smile. the only one that have ever stole my heart.

happy one year, eight month and three weeks

you are a millions of things that no one else would be in my life ;')

2011-08-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

dear you,

"its odd how time flies. it just fees like yesterday i have known you but it has been 1 year and 8 month already. i barely remember my life without you. you complete me baby. you are my strength, you are my hope, you are my pride, you are my biggest responsibility, you worry me the most, you make the happy the most ,you are my patience, you colour my life, you make me smile the most, you know me too well, you are the sweetest thing that have ever happened to me, you are my life. and everyday i am thankful that i have you with me, if there's anyone that i want to spent the rest of my life with, its you baby.thank you for making me smile everyday my super girl, i love you sayang :)

s.n :)

p/s: and you are billions of things that no one else is in my life. i love you too :')

baby..., cause i know you are always here with me :)

2011-08-07T06:53:00.000-07:00

everyday for the past one year, i wake up with these secured feeling of having you with me.

the feeling of knowing that no matter how hard life gets i still have you to turn to.

i still have you to cry everything out.

and the feeling of having you always with me,its priceless.

even though you are miles away, still you are always close in my heart.

i just want you to know that you make me okay in millions of way.

just a text from you would make me smile already, so you dont worry about me aite?

i am never alone here cause i have you with me.
thank you for everything baby.

you make all my insane sweet little wishes come true,

thank you for being my super hero.

everything is just gonna be fine, just a tough moment there, i know you can go through this.

we'll pray together.

take care aite?

i love you a lot, a lot

...my pillar of strength, my motivation and....my bestest best friend :)

2011-08-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

i had her with me through every ups and downs, through every laughters and sadness, through every smart actions and also stupid ones, and through every stressful moments.

i had her to listen to every rant of mine.i had her to clung onto in KMK. i had her to make me less home sick. to make me smile and feel amazing. i had her to help me to grow up in KMK. i had her to help me to survive there. and i know i'll always have her with me.

recently she had to go back to shah alam due to family emergency, i felt really alone.

despite the new friends i made and my crazy roommates, there was this awkwardness of being in KMK without her.although we are not in the same class, but i always knew that she was there,

but that day when she was not there it felt like going through first day in KMK all over again.

when she came and told me about the plans she might want to do, i was sad. really sad. and of course i didnt tell her, but i was sad :(

i thought about it, and realised, i know that you'll have to do whats best for you. i know how much you miss them in shah alam. and i will totally understand whatever you decide.

i just want you to know, that wherever you are, i'll always be there for you. always. and i know you'll be there for me too.

i love you azhani azizi. thank you for millions of little and big things you have done for me.

love you loads

thank you for growing up with me

ramadhan al-mubarak :)

2011-08-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK!

happy fasting to all muslims out there.

although am i 5 days late, due to busyness during exams, but its not that late aite?

here comes the most awaited month of the year. the month where we get the chance to be better, to build routines that can increase taqwa and iman to ALLAH, and insyALLAH these routines would stay up to all other months.

my first ramadhan was away from home this year.yes i was sad, but with the presence of a amazing best friend, azhani azizi, and wonderful roomates, we make a good family. bukak puasa at my room is fun :D

heee.bukak puasa was super duper fun and amazing. there was alot of food being sold there. it makes me less home sick.hehe.anyways today is my first puasa at home.and so far its amazing! huhu

alhamdullilah i finished my ups. the result is something i dont want to think until raya is over.hehe.

happy ramadhan people!

may this beautiful month brings us closer to HIM, insyALLAH :)

p/s: happy second puasa together <3

and when i am finally used to all this...

2011-07-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

it has been 2 month and 3 days.

and i think i am finnaly used to all this college life things, i am finally not that homesick anymore.

who thought that i'll ever grow up? trust me i am the most childish person i know. i cling onto to mummy for almost everything. she had made myself easier in every way she could.

it was not easy at all to suddenly being thrown away to a place called college. when suddenly you have to grow up and do all the things by yourself. it was not easy to not hug and kiss mama before going to class everyday.

but somehow i got used to all this.

it did not get easier by day, its still hard as it was on the first day

but i guess i had learned to be stronger.

i miss home so much.

and everyday i pray everyone that i leave back there at home is safe and sound.

may Allah protect all my family members.
i wish i could be with them all the time, but....its a sacrifice that is bound to be made.

ten more months and then i am all done.

i just hope i dont screw up for my first test.

p/s: azhani azizi, losing someone you love is never easy. be strong and just believe that everything has its own good side. whatever happened, it was meant to be. i know you are strong enough to get over this. May she rest in peace.Amin.

tired i am :(

2011-07-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

it has been quite long since i have written anything in here. i almost forgot i had a blog until my English lecture asked me yesterday. she loved the essay i wrote so much and asked whether i have blog or not and then is when i remembered that i haven't update my blog.huhu

..this week has been an extremely tired week..i feel like i need to rest and i need that smell of sea :(

i am not going home this week or the next two weeks.

exams are coming up so that explains all the work that has to be done. i just cant wait to end all this and go back to my home sweet home. thank god i have almost 3 weeks of holiday for Ramadhan and raya. huhu

andd..i miss you so much :( i know it only has been a week,but i still miss you. how i wish that you were here with me :(

hurmm..people do pray for my exam aite?

have a nice weekend people.

forever yours :)

2011-07-08T22:08:00.000-07:00

i am going back to changlun in a few hours.

of course if i were given a choice i would rather stay home..but here is a sad fact of life, sometimes we have to do things that we dislike. its piece and parcel of life.
look at the bright side, its gonna be a short one year in matrix and i would be doing my degree soon. heee.

i am just sad to live this comfortable zone of mine. i am going to miss home so much.
and

dearest you.thank you for being sweetest! :)

hee..everybody in penang please take care. see you all in two weeks time, insyALLAH

smile please.she's back home! :)

2011-07-08T01:02:00.000-07:00

and once again the sea makes me go crazy :)

i had an awesome ride back home.hee..ferry rides are always fun and it literally makes me smile widely :)
tee.hee.i have miliions of homework which i dont feel like doing now.
and it was a wonderful rainy morning today.
waa,i love homee loads
:)

lets get back on track people! :

2011-06-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

hello everybody! :)

lets see i am here in changlun.not going home this weekend.heee

i am building up my routines, building up a simple life over here.

so i guess i finally had learned to settle down. i still miss my home very much, but i finally had managed to control my emotions.

now i need to focus and study. exam is in one month.waaa

and i ~~hateee~~ lovee physics :P heeee

i need to somehow to make my brain understand physics.

oh Allah please help me get through all this fine.

amin. pray for me people

dearest you, thank you :)

2011-06-24T05:26:00.001-07:00

sn,

thank you so much for always being there with me even though you are miles away.

thank you for taking the trouble to text when you're at work, in class and everywhere else.

thank you for knowing how fragile i am.

thank you for being patient with my mood swings and all my sad emotions which i have a lot these days.

thank you for holding on with me.and always trying so hard to make me happy.

thank you for being the best thing that i could ever ask for.

happy 1 year, 6 months, 3 weeks and 6 days dear.

i love you loads.
<3

KMK :)

2011-06-24T05:20:00.000-07:00

well, basically that's my life in KMK.

my colourful table.with the blue flower my sister gave to me.and small lil bear that sn gave,

my self-made whiteboard and also my food rack. i just love them all. haha.

of many things in changlun, my room and the stuffs in it are my most favorite!

i almost forgot how much i adore blue skies and wide oceans :)

2011-06-23T06:36:00.000-07:00

heee.a happy post this is.

yes, i am back home. in my sweet, small little home. in front of my computer, with my loveliest people around me. what else could i ask for more :)

i simply blissfull to be home. oh Allah please make these three 3 days very slow.

i would like to enjoy every second of me being home

Home sweet home!:)

2011-06-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

I am in Penang for the weekend!*grins*:)can't wait for weekend to come! Hee.can't wait to see mummy,daddy,brothers,and youu!:)hee.seems like i havent seen them for ages!hee.hee.see you all this weekend!:p

a big hello from changlun :(

2011-06-17T05:09:00.000-07:00

hello people of the world :)

sorry for being away and quiet for a long.long time.

it has been almost one month me being here in changlun, and to be honest happiness in one thing i haven't feel truly being here. maybe i am just to busy missing home,missing you and missing my old life until i cant find happiness anymore

or maybe i just need some time to adapt myself here.

well, enough of the sad and depressing stuffs,

lets see whats happy here in changlun.

lets start off with darling roommates.heee..my roommates are super fun to be, thank you ALLAH for that.

i have aida, syaza and kak munirah in my room, they are all nice and as crazy as i am.so its really fun to be back to the room after an hectic day,hee..besides, i think the view in kmk is just wonderful, especially when it rains, it makes my heart melt...huhu...

other than i havent found anything interesting here.haha.my schedules are tight, and studies are tiring.

hurmmm,,i miss mummy soo much :(

i miss my bed,my brothers and also my heart melter so much :(

3 more weeks to go :(

oh Allah,please make me stronger :(

saying goodbye is never easy :'(

2011-05-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

i am leaving early in the morning tomorrow to changlun.

i have no heart at all to leave home. waa..

of 18 years living i had never been away from home and mum for more than a week.

so yess, i am gonna miss my mum, dad, sisters and little brothers so very much! and of course youuu sn :'(

dearest people, thank you so much for always being there without fail for me. for lifting me up when i fall and for loving me unconditionally.

i love you guys so much.

please take care aite?

i am going to miss you all much!

and dear people i think my blog would be quite for a while.

see you guys soon! pray for me in changlun aite?

p/s: SN, thank you for today. please take care. yes, i am going to miss you as much as you are going to miss me. i'll miss the smile and the grin and the bike :( take care taw? i love you so much <3

iamgonnamissyou :(

2011-05-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

when me meets you,

my world turns upside down.

i am gonna miss you.so much

take care.

busy.busy.busy :s

2011-05-20T02:18:00.000-07:00

hello people! :)

i've been busy.like really busy preparing for changlun!

i would be leaving on Monday morning and there's still a lot to be done.

waa.leaving home doesn't feel good at all, but what can i do.i still have to study kan?

~~unless i choose to get married!~~

i hope life in matriculation would be fun and nice.

pray for me okay people?

well, after this i would be rarely updating my blog and rarely onlining.huhu.it all depends on the internet connectivity over there and how busy i would be.

and now,

i have a wedding to catch, till later

:(

2011-05-16T06:58:00.000-07:00

i would be lying the world if i say i am not sad.

yes i am. i don't get it.

its totally not fair and yes i feel bad.very bad of myself.

but why should i?

i studied very hard.and i did achieve my aims of scoring straight A's.
trust me it wasn't easy at all.i am not bragging but the journey wasn't an easy one.
it was hard.
i strived , struggled and achieved what i wanted to.alhamdullillah.
but still

i ain't good enough.

i just dont understand what went wrong where.
i just feel being treated very unfairly for no reason.

so i am sorry if i get all over emotioned.i am sorry if i want to be alone. and not disturbed
you may be seeing me smiling and being all very excited of doing things.
for time being its a fake smile.

the truth is deep inside i am very hurt.

its like the feeling when you get rejected but you have all the qualifications they want and there is no absolute reason you can find.
its like a wound that would always be there.
its a pain in my heart
ya ALLAH please help me get over this. i know YOU know the best

:'(

i miss going to the beach :'(

2011-05-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

7th of May.

2011-05-08T06:03:00.000-07:00

it was my 18th birthday yesterday.

yes, believe it or not i am eighteen.

thank you to everyone who wished at facebook, on phone, face to face and via blog.

it is much appreciated and it did certainly made my day.

it wasn't the best birthday eve i had. it was a hard day and it almost blew me off.

but thanks to all the wonderful peoples who were there supporting me through, i got back on my feet.

thank you so much mama, kakak, adik, fatin aqilah, azhani azizi, shahrul nizam, ridzuan ahmad, rozleena ridzuan and nuraishah.

thank you for making me feel better and stronger.

yes, i believe with all my heart this is the best position i could be in.

just like sn said

"look at the bright side, when you have lesser options, lesser the choices you have to make. it shows the the thing you have in your hand its the best for you kan? kite kena ikhlas terima ujian dari Allah. it'll make you stronger"

thank you all of you. each and every one of you had me feel better and best. thank you so much for always being there for me without fail.

and nur munawarah, congratulations for being the first one to wish me in text :) haha..although sn cakap jam muna laju -.-

hehe..and thank you to everyone that had wished on that night itself.it means a lot.thank you so much.

and to azhani azizi, nur fatimah aliyah and nuraisha.

you guys had me cry with you sweet and wonderful blog post. thank you so much. its just so sweet to read those wonderful things you guys wrote about me, even though i am not really that wonderful pun, you guys are awesome and amazing.

thank you so much. as a token of appreciation i am gonna put the links to the sweet post on the right side of my blog. hehehe.ily guys!

and

sn! thank you for the gift. it is so very comel <3

and btw turning old isnt exciting at all

MAY :)

2011-05-01T03:52:00.001-07:00

...welcome dearest May...

so far you have been awesome to me, so keep being sweet and adorable ey?

bye.bye april!

thank you to for being among of the amazing months in my life

<3 :')

you can call it destiny, chemistry or just a mere coincidence..i say its the sweetest :'D

2011-04-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

quoted from someone, to someone :)

" a girl realised that every time she would been recovering from a fever, a close friend of hers would be catching a fever too. so she told the guy "oh my, pity you. i think you got the virus from me.because every time i catch a fever and would be recovering, you catch them too :(" her friend said "haha..yes.yes. i surely have been infected from you. i have been taking all the heat from you.so no worries anymore. you'll be absolutely fine and healthy! :)" the girl said "but then you wouldn't be fine anymore.you'll be sick :( " the guy replied "aww, its okay. i will somehow recover, insyAllah.no worries. i have you with me" the girl said "hurmmm" the guy said "want to know something?" the girl asked "what?" the guy said "everyday i pray to Allah that may HE give all my happiness to you, and give all your sorrows to me so that i would never have to see you sad and so that i can always see that sweet smile of happiness in your face always. the smile that when you smile, your adorable round eyes shine and you make me fall in love with you again and again :)" and then the girl got speechless -.-

p/s: get well soon! :) "

2011-04-28T23:54:00.001-07:00

its just the prefect kind of weather to begin my day :')

2011-04-28T23:37:00.000-07:00

hello!

sorry for not updating my blog for quite some time, nothing much happened.

well, life is as usual, I'm still at home doing nothing significant.hehe.

i am recovering from fever, but the cough its really getting worse, i wonder why? hehe -.-

my trip to the doctor yesterday was really funny. as usual the doctor checked my temperature, examine my throat and lungs.

after examining me, we had a short conversation.

doctor : okay, you have such high fever. stay away from icy cool things and drink a lot of water ey?

me       : erm okay,btw can you give me small pills because i have such a hard time swallowing the big ones. it makes  me nauseous and one more nothing, i don't like the taste cough syrups,do you have cough medicine in pills? *while doing innocent face*
doctor : yes, as the matter of fact yes we do have cough medicine in pills. *while giving me a look* -.-
me      : not the chewable ones right? cause it still tastes bad" *while doing innocent face again*
doctor : yes, not the chewable one, this one you have to swallow and no taste at all, i guarantee you. plus its small.anything else young lady? *with such a sarcastic tone*
me      : nope nothing else, thank you so much :)
*he smiled and said*
doctor : you are the most crankiest patient i have ever had.its cute tough.ha-ha...anyway, why are you so sensitive and your record shows you often catch fever? your boyfriend lives far.far away ey? hahah
*i was a bit shocked with the question*
me    : no, its just that i dont finish my antibiotics.because its to big to swallow eventhough i know exactly whats the effect is.its just so hard to swallow -.-
*again with the innocent face*
doctor : aaah, a no means you boyfriend is living near? hahaha..okay, nevermind i will give you all small pills this time.aite? and I'll write a note here on your record so that the next time other doctors examine you they'll know and you dont have to explain anymore, okay?
*he was laughing hard* -.-
me     : thank you so much :) *i was embarassed!* heee :p
doctor: thank you. you made may day :) *while smiling cute-ly

hahaha...cute doctor right? lalala~

haha..and yess he gave me all small and cute pills.all easy to swallow

.okay,so this time i will finish my antibiotics ye doctor! :p

tee hee..thank you doctor!

..and you make my heart melt..thank youu soo much :')

2011-04-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

i am really very overwhelmed by what ever you did yesterday.

thank you so much for being there through out the whole journey.

thank you for willing to take all the trouble,to wake up early and to text while working..just because you wanted to be there for me.and because you wanted to make sure i am okay.

thank you for being extra sweet and saying all those words to make me calm.

i really-really appreciate whatever you did.

thank you very much for being the best company that anyone could ask for.

the way you understand me, and know what i want without me saying it out loud, thats so sweet :)

no one else would ever make me feel the way you do.

i was really nervous and tired but your presence had distracted me and made me smile the all the way.

so thank you for being there <3

..and yes you do make my heart melt

<3 :')

we are who we are, because it is the best that we could be :)

2011-04-19T06:16:00.000-07:00

how often do you question why you are the way you are?

or why things end up happening the way it had happened? or why you met someone? or why you have to leave? or why someone had to leave?

and

how often do you say such things as

.."oh no, i should have done it the other way round" or ..."i shouldn't have came in the first place"

sometimes we just forget and keep forgetting that things don't just happen. it happens for a solid reason.

regardless of whether we can see a reason or not.regardless whether we like the reason or not, there always a reason behind every single things that happen. and its the best thing that could ever happened.

every single little details of our life happens for a reason.

believe in your heart, have faith that

we meet the people we have met because its the best.

some times some people just have to go away from our life because its the best.

we trip and fall because its the best.

we are standing wherever we are right now because its the best.

we have to believe that things turn out to be as it is because its what ALLAH had fixed for us and

and its always the best cause HE knows the best.

sorrry :(

2011-04-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

okay.i seriously need to find a way to control my mood swings.

yikes.its getting worse by day :(

hee...i am sorry that you had to say sorry like millions of times even though it wasn't your fault at all :(

i am sorry that i was very egoistic and over sensitive for no reason.

i am sorry.

you understand my mood swings aite? :(

its just not the right days of the month -.-

sorry :(

i'll make it up to you okay?
loli pop ok tak?

hee :)
sorry ye :(

i know you are strong gurl :)

2011-04-16T01:02:00.000-07:00

to my awesome best friend,fatin aqilah

be strong ey?

insyALLAH ALLAH had planned something better for you, for only HIM knows the best.

believe in yourself and be patient through this test.

its okay to be sad.just let it all out and use all the energy to make you grow stronger okay?

i know saying is easier than doing. but i know youu are strongg and gedikk! *kena gak letak gedik* :p

hee.hee..don't be sad okay, smile please :)

..what ever you need i am always here taw..love you soo much pinkiee! :)

awesome thursday with awesomest people! :)

2011-04-16T00:49:00.000-07:00

finnaly we managed to go out together.after years of planning *okay i am hiperbola-ing* hehe..

all thanks to pretty Auntie Rozie who was kind enough to treat us all lunch.

well, fatimah was the only one who couldn't come since she had to work :( never mind, next time we'll make it happen ey.

huhu..it was really fun since its like the first outing that we had together since we finished spm.huhu.we always end up planning and then cancelling our plans for some reasons.so Alhamdulillah for this trip.

it was one of the awesomest thursdays i have ever had.old friends, crapping here and there and laughing all the way.

aww, i miss my schooling days :(

hee.back to the topic,

we had a wonderful lunch at Harvest in restaurant. and then we hang around at 1st avenue and also prangin mall.

guys thank you very much for being awesome as always. you guys are among the greatest people i know. so yess lets never end this sweet friendship okay?

love you guys a lot <3

enjoy the pictures :)

p/s: credits to shahirah tahir for the pictures :)

wordless wednesday :)

2011-04-13T04:13:00.000-07:00

..a thank you note :)

2011-04-13T00:12:00.000-07:00

" the confidence you have on me, it makes me stronger day by day.

it makes me going on no matter how hard life gets.

thank you for making me smile at the toughest moments of my life and thank you for always believing in me even when i lost my confidence.

thank you for always being there to make me okay.

thank you so much for being the best part of me"

with love,

n.a

..err,so what's my ambition? -.-

2011-04-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

*okay.okay.calm down azimah *talks to myself*

tee.hee..okay i am nervous.

i have an interview tomorrow, a scholarship interview for medic to be specific.

and here i am thinking, what is my ambition?

i knoww, that is really bad :(

huhu...when i was a lil kid i had always wanted to be a hairstylist just because i love to comb and design mum's and sister's hair and they loved me *really they did, saye xperasan* haha :p

then when i grow a bit i wanted to become a lawyer because i was influenced by english movies and their court houses, you know how the lawyer gets to talk.it's like really cool, until i learn things dont exactly work like that in Malaysia.and since then i never had a specific ambition.maybe i did want to be a scientist.i cant remember ~.~

but i just knew that i want to be a great person. i want to change people's life.i want to be important and i want to be functioning actively in a community.and also i want to be rich *muahaha*

so now you decide, what should i be?

YA ALLAH, YOU know what's the best for me, so please guide me through this journey. guide my heart to make the best decision.and please let everything be smooth and fine tomorrow.
Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.
pray for me people.

it just makes me sad to hear about this :(

2011-04-10T06:55:00.000-07:00

watching this particular documentary had made me very sad and had killed my mood this whole day.have you guys ever heard or watch yati kaparwi's documentary on hijab wearing.if i'm not mistaken its called "aku siapa". oh my, its just so sad to see how much trouble she put just to deny on the truth. i just don't get what is she trying to prove by making those kind of documentary. the obvious is, hijab wearing for adult muslim women is compulsory.
what's the to fight about? i wonder who was she trying to prove wrong when she made that documentary, ALLAH? THE HOLY QURAN? OR HADIS?

"Dan hendaklah mereka menutup belahan leher bajunya dengan tudung kepala mereka.'' (An-Nur 24: 31)"

Surah An-Nur, ayat 31
"And say to the faithful women to lower their gazes, and to guard their private parts, and not to display their beauty except what is apparent of it, and to extend their headcoverings (khimars) to cover their bosoms (jaybs), and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their womenfolk, or what their right hands rule (slaves), or the followers from the men who do not feel sexual desire, or the small children to whom the nakedness of women is not apparent, and not to strike their feet (on the ground) so as to make known what they hide of their adornments. And turn in repentance to Allah together, O you the faithful, in order that you are successful"

Surah al-Ahzab ayah 59:
" O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the faithful to draw their outergarments (jilbabs) close around themselves; that is better that they will be recognized and not annoyed. And God is ever Forgiving, Gentle."

There are so many more quran verses and hadith that states women to cover up.Isn't this clear enough? what's there more to argue about.and what is the necessity to take the trouble to even make a documentary? she had even took the trouble to go to Indonesia and refer to an so called "ulama's" opinion on this issue?
isnt this absurd or not?

i am just so pissed off that a muslim woman can take so much trouble to go against Islam. she had purposely taken point of view of peoples that definitely don't understand Islam to show that hijab wearing isn't practical. and she even said that hijab isnt Malaysian culture, but berkemban and kebaya is? ~~what the hell?~~

When ALLAH asks us to do something, we do it with out questioning, simply because HE definitely knows the best. There's nothing that ALLAH had said can ever be wrong or out-dated because ALLAH is prefect. and the purpose of hijab is not to show that women are weak.It is to cover up our self and protect our self from men that are not muhrim. wearing a hijab lift up a women's dignity that shows how much ALLAH have lifted a women's self-respect.

I am just so angry that she is denying ALLAH's words. this documentary is going to leave a bad impact on those who are non-muslims and those muslims who dont really understand. People are going to start having new ideas, saying hijab isnt compulsory.so yeah that's really bad :(
btw, i am proud to be a muslim.and i am proud to wear hijab...

oh ALLAH may you give you guidance and protection to all of us...

..on some days better than the others, i thank ALLAH for giving me them :)

2011-04-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

hello everybody!

let's meet the sweet and awesomest people in my life who was always there through my ups and downs, lifted me up everytime i fall, had tried their very best to keep the smile on my face and these that people i know that they'll always be there for me and they are mostly responsible for where i stand today.

so lets meet them..

my family-mum, dad, kak omaz and kak ana :)
thank you for always being there.i love you guys so much <3

muhd hafiz and muhd arif aiman.
my two lil handsome baby brothers who make me feel like a kid and who can tolerate all my crazyness
,i lovee you guyss :)

Azhani Azizi- my twin best friend :)
this lady up here had made my life easier in plenty of ways and had always been there. she a lot like me in so many ways and understands me the best and had always made things seems alot easier and fun.
i lovee you alot hanii! :)

fatimah aliyah baharuddin- my lovely bestfriend
thank you for always thinking about me and trying to make me happy and always protecting me.
love you so.so much honey :)

fatin aqilah anwar-my cute best friend
qilah, thank you so much for every single things.for being patient of all my crazyness and for all the laughter.thank you for all these wonderful years of friendship.thankfull gila i have youu.huhu
lovee youuuu <3

nur shuhadah rahin.
shuu. thank you for all these years of friendship and for always being there for me.
love youu daa <3

nur munawwarah
muna sayangg.thank youuu for every single thing...huhu..thank you sbb selalu x kisah aku buli hang and thank you for always taking care of me.huhu
sayanggg munaaa~ :)

fatin hazwani.
thank you for all the enjoying moments we had.all the laughters we shared.thank you for always being there.
huhu..sayangg wanii <3

syahirah tahir.
my darling who is always patient with my crazyness.huhu
love you syiraaa <3

rozleena ridzuan.
my deareast senior who had always help me to grow up.huhu...and had always been there to listen to my complaints and had guide me all along.
thank you so much :)

last but not least, deareast SN :)
thank youuu for being my best friend.for being there during my ups and downs and for being loveliest.
thank a lot <3
:)

THANK YOU to ALLAH for the awesomest and wonderful people in my life.
thank you semua.thank you for being there....sayang semua banyak-banyak.
please never go away form my life okay.no matter how far we go.be there for me always ey
:)

hey baby, i think i wanna marry you :)

2011-04-07T23:22:00.000-07:00

marry you by bruno mars is so very sweet :)
this song isnt that new, but i like it.comei ja.
hehe
:D

p/s: aqilah, this songs reminds me of youu kot -.- hehe

suddenly, i like editing pictures~ heee :)

2011-04-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

okay, the ten year old have a blog now! :)

2011-04-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

as you can see the title, my ten year old brother has his own blog.

huhu.well i guess i inspire him :P

muahaha...blogging is healthy kan, so i dont really mind.

he is not writing much, but he is improving.

have it a view ey people?

Muhd Hafiz

sedih :(

2011-04-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

sedih kan kalau kita buat orang sedih

:'(

...and..oh yess, meet also the 21 year old :)

2011-04-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

may you have a wonderful, happy and blessed year ahead.and thank you for every single things.

it means a lot <3

meet the 7 year old and the ten year old...and the 18 year old to be :)

2011-04-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

comelkan kami? :)

hee

i just loveee them :D

happy birthday march kiddo's

..because baby, i dont hold the future in my hand..:(

2011-03-31T23:43:00.000-07:00

okay.i wanna write. please don't ask questions.

i want treasure today and these wonderful days.

my whole entire world crashed when i thought of loosing you. i cried.and cried and cried hard.

because i didn't like what happened.or didn't like what was going to happen.

i thought a lot and i still cant make myself feel better no matter what.i cant hold back my tears. and those moment was the worst ever in my life.

did i surprise you with my reaction?

just because all these while i seemed like not giving enough and hurt you in thousand different ways and always put down your hopes...

it doesn't mean that i don't need you.i do :(
i know its hard for you as it is for me.
and i know you just want the best for me and want me to be happy.
i know how much you love me and i know what mess you are going through.because i am going through it too :(

listen, don't you ever think that you leaving its the best for me.
because its the worse thing that could ever happen to me.

and don't you ever think that you are not the best for me.

i am the one who get to choose what's the best for me.and i choose you.

but if you choose to leave, i want you to know,

that nobody could ever take your place in my life. you think i am exaggerating?

you say i am young and i have the whole world in front of me,

yes true enough and i was all ready and planned to face the whole world with you :(

so if you wanna go, i want you to know that it'll hurt so much.

i want you to know that every time i smile after you leave it'll be a fake one. and every time i look like i am happy after that, i am not truly happy.

and i want you to know that i'll live but not live truly after you go.

because you taught me to be really happy.you make me really happy.

you bring life to me.

trust me this is not just merely a post. this is what i feel. you may feel i am playing with words and buat teruk.but this is what i feel and i know its true :(

it has been a prefect one year with you.i never wanna loose these days.those moments.
the feeling you make me feel.nobody else would :(

if i could just relive every single moments.if i could just hold the time and be there always i would.

trust me i would.

i am sorry that i am suddenly pouring all this out and making things hard for you. i am sorry that i was self fish enough through this entire one year :( i am sorry.

...when you leave, my heart closes. and its the end. nobody else would be there anymore.
and i wont give a chance to anybody else.i close my heart.because i have been saving it for you.

no matter how long it takes, how many years.what i feel it wont change.and i dont want it to change.

yes, i suck in moving on.and i dont want to move on.

i would never wanna know the meaning of happiness without you.

so i'll be sad after you leave. i dont really care.

because the perfection that we create together, its irreplaceable.

you have my name in yours,and nobody else would.

and i would never change the name of my blog.just to forget you.and stanum would always be my favorite element out of all. and i'll never stop buying you b'day gift and i'll never stop remembering you.

because i choose to live with you.even though you are not here anymore.

its my choice. i choose to leave with those precious memory.

and i'll never even try to build a new memory with anyone else.

and yess maybe you think its crap.and i am stupid.

but this what life is gonna be after you. its still gonna be you.

i cant stop you from leaving and at the same time and i cant stop praying for you not to leave.

but i have no power to control my destiny, the only thing i can do is pray.

oh ALLAH, please make this person stay

p/s : does this answer your question, on how my life would be without you? :(

sn + na = ?

2011-03-31T04:37:00.001-07:00

i love you.

me without you its like sugar candy without sugar :(

2011-03-28T02:33:00.000-07:00

i just need you to stay

alhamdullillah :)

2011-03-23T03:42:00.001-07:00

thank you ALLAH :)

that's all i can say and i am very very thankful.

thank you to each and every one that have been very supportive.i promise you tomorrow i'll have a complete blog post about you awesome people.for now, i just want to smile and sleep :)

thank you ALLAH :)

:(

2011-03-19T03:55:00.000-07:00

results is out in a few days.and to be honest i am not prepared at all for it :(
hurmm,...ya ALLAH, please help me and my friends.may we all excel.
hurmm...btw,i am really dissappointed in you.but should i be surprise that i am?
:'(

and they say, distance makes heart grow fonder :(

2011-03-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

okay this is going to be really hard.

maybe i am over reacting.but its what i feel and its gonna be really hard.

i am used to all these things.you pampered me with all these sweet things

and i am not sure how would i survive without it all.

without having the sight of you for a day.

without having you just six or four floors far away from me.

without bumping into you like every single time i go somewhere.

without having those adrenaline rush and the elevation in the heart beat everytime i catch a glimpse of you.

and without having all those look-but not to-look moments, smile-but not to-smile moments, flirting moments...and
without having you....
yess.i am going to miss all these wonderful and sweet things.a lot.a lot
and yess its going to be hard, really hard.

but i promise you i am going to survive this.
just like you said its gonna be a new phase for us.

and we are going to be just fine right?

you don't worry about me.

you do what you think is the best for your life and i promise i'll be right by your side, no matter how hard life gets. i promise i would.

distance is just a very small factor to make us less close then we are right now.

we are not gonna be apart just because of distance,insyAllah..
yes its going to change our life.both ours a lot.
but if you are ready to make the sacrifice.then so am i.
trust me, if this is the best thing for you then it is the best for me too.

its gonna be hard for both you and me,but somehow but we are gonna get ourselves used to it.
okay?

we'll fix things and make something good out of this right?

and yeah they say...

distance makes heart grow fonder...

so yeah lets do it..

lets make this a few added kilometers, make us a mile closer to each other..

aite?

because together, we make a good team :)

2011-03-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

quoted from somewhere.from someone to someone :)

" we have been together for forever that i could remember.ask me about my life and most of it would be you.and i barely could remember life before us. i know it hasnt been ages, but it has been like forever in a really good.good way :)

and yess we have our ups and downs. i would be lying if i say we have been prefect. i know i sometimes can be real real jerk. he-he...and yeah, you sometimes have your mood swing moments...haha...and yes its true we are sometimes sad and sometimes we fight..

but at the end of each day, i dont even remember why we fought.

i am completely honest here. i dont say things to impress you, although i do impress you..haha...:p

whenever we have problem i think of solving it.i think to get over it as quick as possible so that you wont be sad anymore..

but i never thought of leaving...leaving was never and is never going to be an option.

its just like when you have headache, do you chop off your head? even though if you feel like doing so, you'll never do it with a sane mind.kan? HAHA...same goes...

i'll never leave you with my sane mind.

ask me why?

...because together we make a good team :)"

p/s : i think this person up here its so very sweet.saja gedik post benda nie.nk jiwang karat sebentar..haha...haihh...sweetnya orang yang cakap nie -.-

when....

2011-03-13T23:35:00.000-07:00

when i am feeling a lil bit gloomy....

and when it is the time of the month....

where everything lil things you say upset me easily...

when i get over sensitive over small things....

and when i crave for a lot of chocolates...

and feel completely alone...

i just wish someone could make me feel like this...

or...like this...

have a nice day people.

you :)

2011-03-12T05:52:00.000-08:00

you were everything that i've ever had wished for.

you came out of no where and swept me off my feet.

you some how protect me and you really try your very best to make me smile.

and i want you to know you mean a lot to me.i appreciate you as you are.

through out these days we grow up together, you have been a part of my life.

you not just someone i know, you are a important person in my life and i want you to know that.

thank you for every single lil things you do.every lil words you say it maters the most and it makes me happy and go crazy.

so now i just wish you'll stay. continuing in being who you are. continue being there for me.

i know i ain't giving enough and i am sorry. but i want you to know that i want you here.

i am selfish enough to keep you for myself and i am bad enough because i want you here...

i wish you'll stay with me and never leave...

i wish we can grow old together...

make my wish come true, would you?

pretty please?

new look :)

2011-03-12T02:17:00.000-08:00

hello:)

since someone requested me to makeover my blog and i was really bored today, i decided to change my blog not really change though.just the picture...the font colour and stuffs.

i was trying to find new background for my blog, but none of it i like. hehe...i still like my black background...i tried changing it, still i don't like..ngeh...next time ey..

at least i changed from blue theme to pink and purple! yay! :)

i feel so gloomy today.must be the mood swings kot and the things happening world wide.

the earth quake and tsunami in japan is really frightening :(

its a reminder from ALLAH to all of us kan...the world is coming to the end...all this natural disasters, it is one of the big signs of kiamat.

Subhanallah, how great is ALLAH S.W.T.

for only HIM has the power of creating and destroying.

it is a sign reminding us man kinds to get on track. since people nowadays have been to busy chasing fancy dreams and forgetting our real purpose on earth.

YA ALLAH please forgive all of us and let us all always be under your guidance and protection.

amin~

may japan and any other affected place recover fast

:'(

cameron highlands :)

2011-03-12T00:32:00.000-08:00

wee...yes.yes i had a 3D 2N trip to Cameron highland last last week.hehe...i went there with my dearest sister. it was four and a half hours trip from my house to Cameron highlands by car. our journey was fine, minus me being land sick and nauseous almost half the trip.*yikes, ~~i hate winding roads!~~

so then we arrived at tanah rata Cameron highlands.
we stayed at the Heritage Hotel Cameron highlands.

Heritage Hotel, tanah rata :)

the weather there was cold, but i was expecting a cooler weather. well with all this pollutions here and there i guess the weather had just gone up a little bit. after arriving we went to our room and then we went out for dinner.we had dinner some place nearby the hotel since we didn't really know the places there and we were both sleepy..huhu...after dinner we had a night walk around the place and went back for some good night sleep.

our room.

night view at the hotel :)

early in the morning the next day, my sister had to go for the psychiatric convention *the real reason we came to Cameron* :p

so then i was left all alone. i had breakfast in the hotel and then i decided to have a walk around the hotel. it was cool. they have a reading room there, but unfortunately the books there was all in Japanese or any other language that was obviously not English! hehe

then i continued walking and saw this room where that had an international drawing competition. it was so cute, the old ladies from japan was busy drawing and the were really good at it.comel je..hehe...

tadaa! the results.hehe

this hotel had a fish pond at the basement. since i was all alone and had nothing else to do i went there.hehe...the landscaping was really nice.it was like a small garden with lots of trees...and with a long walkway and finally there was a fish pond with the fishes.the view from there was beautiful..i like.hehe

after i had explored the hotel, and my sister was back from her convention we went jalan-jalan around tanah rata.huhu i really wanted to go to the strawberry farm, so we went there. it was so much fun. there were strawberries everywhere *jakun kan? :p* haha...

but too bad it wasnt the season so we cant self pick :(

but never mind...we bought strawberries and and i bought a white rose...hehehe...comel sangat :)

the rose :)

we also went to this souvenir shop and bought some souvenirs for friends and family. we had to rush a bit because my sis had to go for another round of course again later that night.

so it was just me.the chocolates and the camera :p hehe

and later on that night we went ate ikan bakar! haha...walaupun kat atas bukit ikan tak fresh,saja teringin..hehehe...

the next day was our last day there. we visited the tea plantation, flower nursery and the honey bee farm..huhu..

.indeed it was a wonderful vacation with my lovely sister...amazing and beautiful place i would say.minus the winding roads -.-

hehe...enjoy the pictures :)

home sweet home <3

i hateee it :)

2011-03-10T07:27:00.000-08:00

i hate when you do it...

i hate the fact that....

...you are the only one that could make me the saddest person in one second and the only one who could make me the happiest person in the next second...

thank youu :)

2011-03-09T06:52:00.000-08:00

thank you very much..for the sweet.sweet cake :)

i was so overwhelmed...untill the first thing i got after seeing the cake is eating it..haha,,

it was that sweet :)

thank you so much for every single thing :)

aww...weddings...me like :)

2011-03-09T06:09:00.000-08:00

CONGRATULATIONS TO ABANG HASSAN AND KAK SITI FAIZURA :)

MAY YOU BOTH HAVE A EVER LASTING AND HAPPY AND BLESSED MARRIAGE TOGETHER :)

hello :)

2011-03-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

sorry for not updating for a long-long time.heee...

*buat macam ramai bace* :p

i have been quite quite busy these few days...

i came home from a 3D and 2N cameron trip then went for my cousin's wedding..hehe..

i'll blog about my cameron's trip tomorrow okay? pinky promises...hehe :)

life is as usual...nothing much happening...i am really very bored at home and enjoying doing nothing.hehe

i feel like i need to do something exciting but i just cant figure out what is it.ngeh.ngeh.ngeh..

and did i tell you guys that i enjoy picking up lil bro's at school and sending them to sekolah mengaji..hehehe

comei gila dengaq budak-budak kecik ngaji...aww..so very adorable..huhu...well, someone said i have a mothers heart :)

wee...till later..tak tau nk tulis apa dah.hehe

just like the old days :)

2011-02-22T21:29:00.000-08:00

hello!

last sunday i had an awesome outing with my old friends :)

hee...i went out with fatin aqilah, shuhadah, and aliah. it was so much fun.

we decided to pusing-pusing around town.hehe.. we had our lunch at the famous line clear restaurant.hehe...the food was okay...then we head on to play BOWLING! yeahh...it was actually aqilah's and my idea kot :P

haha...it was so fun...we cant stop laughing and so do the guy at the next lane :P

muahaha...i really suck in bowling, but who cares, i love it :)

hee...then we went on and jalan-jalan at little india.hehe..something new and exciting.

it was a bit tiring but it was so much fun.

laughing.laughing.talking.and some more laughing..haha...

it feels like the old day.old comforting days.

hee..thank you friends.i love you guys :)

haha..F malu yer? :)

insyALLAH.....

2011-02-19T02:41:00.000-08:00

" Tidaklah seorang muslim tertimpa suatu kelelahan, atau penyakit, atau kekhuatiran, atau kesedihan, atau gangguan, bahkan duri yang melukainya melainkan Allah akan menghapus kesalahan-kesalahannya (Dosa) kerananya."

(HR. Al-Bukhari no. 5642 dan Muslim no. 2573)